


Dammit, Jim!

by weepingnaiad



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Community: cottoncandy_bingo, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, cliche for a reason, cotton candy bingo, gratuitous alien monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-22 01:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/604353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weepingnaiad/pseuds/weepingnaiad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> This little bon-bon was inspired by the teaser trailer for the new movie.  That coupled with the prompt, <i>Cliche for a reason,</i> and this was the result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dammit, Jim!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SmudleyKAM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmudleyKAM/gifts).



> **A/N:** Y'all may not know it, but I've been in a bit of a writing slump so I decided to try to conquer it by filling as many squares as I could in my Cotton Candy Bingo card. I'm trying very hard to keep the stories short and sweet as befits the "Cotton Candy" title, plus I need to practice brevity. So, to that end, I've completed a few, have a few more ideas in the works, and will be posting them as they're finished. Just little tidbits dedicated to my wonderful friends.
> 
> My first bon-bon is dedicated to smudley who never ceases to amaze me with her resilience, strength, and sheer determination. This is for you, m'dear!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** These are Paramount and Roddenberry's characters used in the spirit of creative commons. I promise to return them with smiles on.

"Dammit, Jim!" Leo cries out as he jumps off the cliff, voice lost to the crashing waves as he falls.

The water is warm, thank goodness, and slightly more viscous than that on earth. Leo is a strong, determined swimmer and could swim easily in the heavy water, but the Nibiru ceremonial robes are made of some dense wool-like material and they're soaking up the sea water, quickly dragging Leo down. He kicks hard, righting himself before stripping the robes off and rocketing toward the surface.

Leo emerges, gasping for breath. He takes two lung fulls of salty, sharp air then shouts for Jim.

"Goddammit, kid! If you don't answer me!" Leo curses, but his heart is pounding and real fear, not just left-over adrenaline is choking him.

Long limbs wrap around his waist and he hears a warm, wet chuckle in his ear. "You'll what, Bones? Spank me?" Jim darts away before Leo can turn. But he sees a bare ass flip up before diving below the surface and shoots off after Jim, swearing the whole way even as his long, strong strokes close the distance between them.

He catches Jim in the shallows of a nearby island, tackling him to the black-gold sand before he can get completely out of the water. They tussle and roll in the water, bare skin catching, sending sparks down Leo's spine even as Jim finally wriggles out of his grasp.

Leo rests on all fours, head hanging between his shoulders as he lets the waves wash over him, washing the sand off tender places.

Jim beckons, "C'mon, Bones! The sand is warm and dry!"

Leo looks up and shakes his head. "Sand and naked aren't my idea of fun, Jim."

Jim waggles his eyebrows and arches like a goddamned cat and Leo can't resist the mating poses of one James T. Kirk.

He stalks over to Jim, water sluicing off his body in fat droplets to splat in the middle of Jim's ridiculously firm abs. Of course Jim knows he's gorgeous and he preens all the more as the cool water slides glistening down his torso. He leers up at Leo and that's the last straw. Leo pounces, presses Jim into the sand and thrusts his tongue down Jim's throat.

Their bodies slip-slide together, cocks rubbing frantically, limbs entwined when a shadow falls over them.

"Captain? Doctor McCoy?"

Leo freezes, wrenches his mouth from Jim's, and drops his forehead to the sand. "You're dead, Jim," he mutters.

Jim smiles (Leo can feel it) up at Spock. "You're early, Commander."

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Leo growls, jumping up and stalking toward the trees. "I hope you brought clothes, you pointy-eared--"

"Sir? I did arrive before the agreed upon time, but there were readings of large life forms nearby. I was concerned..."

Spock's voice fades away (not that Leo is listening) as Leo nears the large palm-like trees. He sighs in relief. Leo might be a doctor, but he is no exhibitionist and he has no intention of flashing his junk at the Vulcan.

Leo steps into the trees, the temperature instantly lowering a few degrees. Relaxing, Leo begins to observe the fauna carefully. He is standing there naked as the day he was born. He can't be too careful, but he's still a scientist, and curious. The path widens, the sand giving way to hard-packed earth when he feels the ground rumble beneath his feet. He doesn't remember anything about volcanoes in the area, but geosciences isn't his specialty. He might have missed it.

Looking around he reconsiders scouting in his birthday suit so begins to cautiously retrace his steps. As he rounds the last bend and his toes dig into soft sand a roar reverberates behind him, chilling his blood. He turns and comes face to face with a large bear-like creature with a bright red exo-skeleton. And the monster is charging straight for Leo.

Leo turns and begins running. "Energize, dammit, Jim! Spock! Get us the fuck out of here!" he screams. He is still screaming when he feels the familiar prickle of the transporter beam. He's never been so happy to have his atoms scrambled before in his life.

Jim is laughing, bent over, hands on his knees, seemingly oblivious that he's standing on the transporter pad buck-ass naked. And Spock is staring at Leo with one eyebrow lifted. It pisses Leo off even more than the raging, lobster-bear had. But what's worse is when Leo turns and the transporter is being manned not by Scotty, but by Lt. Castille who is trying very hard to keep a straight face.

"Dammit, Jim! You're sleeping on the couch tonight!" Leonard barks, stalking out of the room naked as a jaybird.

The End


End file.
